Indian Men and the Mera Rajabeta Syndrome.

Warning: Rant post ahead!

They say, it takes a village to raise a child!.
Chinese knew what it meant when they stated the above adage. But in India it should only take a strong woman. And not just one, but two or three and earlier it would've been more.
What is it about Indian men and also many women , I don't understand , that they cannot snap out of  their  outdated patriarchal attitude.

I am someone who takes a lot of pride in raising my son, I have sacrificed a bright career that I could have had, my financial independence and more crucial things like straight hours' sleep and   nourishment  for the sake of it. But I don't want to be taken for granted.

I have always wanted to know from a man's ( esp Indian) perspective :

- How does it feel not to think about what to cook for the next day?
- How does it feel to sleep undisturbed, because you are the one going to work.?
- How does it feel to not worry what else can be tried to satisfy your picky eating toddler?
- How does it feel to be unperturbed by your own mother's dodgy knee?
- How does it feel when your wife has to remember your best friend's ( even your dad's)  birthday for you.
- Tell me how does it feel when you don't have to worry about piled up laundry or untidy house
- How does it feel to not participate at all in anything and call yourself the MAN of the house.

Somebody really did name this attitude of Indian men aptly. The  Mera-Raja-Beta-Syndrome. 
These men just grew up ...... they have gotten everything they needed with such ease that they wouldn't know the trouble that went behind it. And they expect the same easiness in their lives.

I don't want to judge these women who brought them up. I give them neither any blame nor any praise.

I am not interested to know if you ( Indian man) , are better than your cousin or your Padosi. Are you better than what you were yesterday?

Don't say my expectations are high, because you unlike other men, don't hangout or drink and spend out of your way. I don't do any of it either and that is not the excuse I give for not showing up for my duty as a mother and wife.

And also ... when you are past 30 and already have a Rajabeta of your own, I think its high time you up-ed your game .

P.S : Sorry, sometimes I have to just take it off my chest and lay it all down without sugarcoating any of it. And tomorrow yet again I shall resume my chores ( read slog away as usual) as the devout and dutiful Indian woman!

.Feeling Meh!


  1. Oh God, who are you. Seems like you stole my words, literally. This is my everyday rant :-) Not being a racist here, but I think this attitude is prevalent in most Indian men. They are not raised hearing "happy wife, happy life". They just don't get it.

    1. Hi Kay !.. Thanks for dropping by! I am not very proud of what I wrote here, to be honest . I wasnt expecting anybody to read in the first place. Im trying to be more grateful and am exercising not to complain for my own wellbeing's sake. But yes, at one point this all seemed true to me. Though like I said, Its a rant! its not pretty and hence the disconnected and unrelated sentences .... I know a lot of women like you and me would just wanna high five each other and say "same boat" or "join the club"

    2. I understand. For some this is true more so than others. But I think everyone goes through this at one point or the other. I like what you said "exercising not to complain". I am going to try that.

      I was planning my daughters 2nd birthday. She loves Krishna. That's how I ended up on your blog. Love what you did on your son's birthday.

    3. Thankyou! I hope you get to put up a wonderful celebration for your lil angel!😍

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